at least i'm not a vegan

i'm mentally prepping for the trip to ohio. every time i talk with my maternal grandmother, she asks what i can eat. now, this shouldn't be too hard, right? it's not like vegetarianism is all new or anything. and so i explain that i eat anything that isn't meat. or made w/chicken stock or beef broth. and then she says "so you'll eat turkey." um no, that's meat. "so you'll eat fish?" no. that's meat. the meat of a fish. "what in the world do you eat, then?" let's see, there are grains, vegetables, fruits, and chocolate. and i'll eat some cheese. "what can i possible make you for dinner?" what, do breakfast and lunch not exist? perhaps this is some mid-western thought that you MUST have meatmeatmeat as your mealmealmeal. or else you'll die. right there. at the table. kersplaat. and then no more dinner for you.

so before i go, i may have to put together a makeshift vegetarian's guide to foreign travel because while ohio is technically part of the united states, most of the ideas are rather foreign. or else most of our foreign ideas have yet to penetrate the confused state. for example, one page may look like this:

= NO







= NO









= NO









= NO












= NO








= Ding Ding Ding! YES!

MUNI returns

now that i'm working downtown, i'm back to taking the bus. at first i was all "oh boo hiss, i have to take the bus." actually, it started out as two buses, but then i started walking the 2nd leg. the more i rode MUNI, the more i realized i had missed it- seeing people, real people! not just hobos in the panhandle or the lady who continuously called me a white bleached-out crackhead on my way home or gangly, angsty teenagers giggling on their cell phones. it's not just me going to work and me walking home. it's us going to work and us (at least some of us) making a difference and us heading home for the day. in fact, i'd say the bus is a community builder, a way of all gathering together in some form of solidarity, saying we will not drive separately to work, but we'll be herded like cattle (not the grass-fed kind) to and fro, and while some riders may not shower quite as often as the rest of us, it gives my tummy a nice warm feeling inside, like when you sip hot cocoa by a roaring fire. now if only i would go to work in sweats and a hoodie.

deep thoughts

when dining in san francisco (or any hotbed of scrumptious, trendy restaurants), heed wisdom and plan. for if you do not, eating on the street will be you and your clan.

or in layman's terms: in the city, it's really, really, really important to have a reservation. especially for a group of 8. on a sunday. or a thursday. at 7PM. cuz there's nothing like walking into a restaurant (especially for the 2nd time that week) and being told that they can't accomodate you. so if you can't plan in advance or opentable your way in, take the road less traveled and become buddies with the host/bartender/owner. send them cocoa bella chocolates. or dress them in giant robot t-shirts. or reserve them a prime parking space. in short, do what you must, and you will be greatly rewarded.

leela and fry and zoidberg, oh my!

What a scoop! Wait... hasn't this been in development for years? or at least months? No matter what, it makes today's heat sooo much bearable.

It's Back to the Futurama for Katey Sagal and Co.

It isn't a comeback for The Comeback, but hey, at least it's something. On the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, Katey Sagal confirmed that Futurama was returning to the tube. "It is going to be on Comedy Central," she said, "and they are making 16 or 13 episodes, I'm not sure." Hey, this had better not slow the progress of The Simpsons Movie?

cast out comcast

i miss satellite tv. really. in our old apartment (from way back in the day), we had direct tv, and i couldn't have been happier. our picture was clear and crisp, we got all the "right" stations, and customer service was friendly and chipper. when we moved into this "new" apartment, the landlord put his foot down, as our dish might somehow ruin the facade of our 1920s apartment building. now, he thinks it's ok for him to try to repair pipes, leaks, and moldy fences with little to no knowledge of plumbing and construction. and have the ceiling continue to droopen or wooden boards to fall on my head. or pipes to continue to clog and spit up smurfs who never made it to smurfland. but no, we can't put a dish up where no one except the neighborhood pigeons will see it? eh. so ever since, we've got comcast, where the picture is fuzzy, the color is sometimes off, and the local stations have ghost images. it's atrocious, especially since it's costs (todd) an arm and a leg for the basic yet necessary stations (such as cartoon network and espn).

so my mom was coming to visit this weekend, and i figured i needed to clean up a little bit, so yesterday i recycled a lot of old newspapers and catalogs, and i put away glasses and such. well, somewhere in my cleaning frenzy, i misplaced the remote control. and after turning our whole apartment inside out (literally, we flipped the recliner and lifted the sofa), i thought perhaps i recycled it, as it's the only place i hadn't scrounged around in yet. this morning, i checked the recycling bin, as it's normally picked up on friday... but they picked up this morning! so i've deduced this is a sign, some symbol that comcast is an evil corporation of entertainment and information services greed. and that we should (literally) toss them out the window and pursue other more viable options of (legal) entertainment. like 4 square. and competitive candy land. and picking our noses.

bullpen blockade

You can visit my most recent attempt at bullpen baking here.

48 hours

after being interrogated repeatedly by the california employment office (both in-person and on the phone), applying to a multitude of jobs, and selling my soul on craigslist, i got a job! i'll be working for an educational research and development company here in san francisco, and i start wednesday. this leaves me 2 days to finish up my slumming and bumming.

things to do with my last 48 hours of freedom:

mission: charge the mp3 player. now that i have a two-bus commute twice a day, i'll need my tunes more than ever. who knows who could sit next to me?
revised mission: bring the music to all the people. purchase large boom box. practice carrying around on shoulder with nelly blasting loudly. or the dixie chicks. remember to safety pin slumping pants to underwear.

mission: camp out under the stars. although this would require a sleeping bag. and a camp. and some stars (thanks to our foggy june).
revised mission: remember that you've never been camping. check out stars at perezhilton.com instead.

mission: learn to ride a bike. any kind. even with training wheels.
revised mission: after recalling dreadful superman incident from 16 years ago, get self cape and tall red boots. go see superman instead. or watch justice league. then rethink bike school.

so cheesey

have you exhausted your netflix queue (minus mullholland drive and cold mountain, which continuously remain at the bottom of the list)? Y/N

need something new, exciting, and educational to warm up your heart? Y/N

do you like fine cheeses made with the hand of god? Y/N

if you've answered yes to these three questions (or perhaps even two of them), then rent the cheese nun!

" Explore the world of artisanal cheese with Sister Noella Marcellino, a Benedictine nun who visits France to probe the mysteries that make every cheese unique. Marcellino ventures from farmstead to aging room to laboratory, reveling in the fungi and microorganisms that are as essential to cheese as terroir is to wine. This homage to fromage is an unabashed celebration of the science, craft and humanity of cheesemaking."

dance dance evolution

if only we could all dance like this guy.