kibbles and bits

when participating in a conference call with 15 other people, don't invite your dog. and if you do, put it on mute, cause i'm not sure how to transcribe "woof woof bark squeal." does that mean you think vocational educators need more professional development opportunities or everything is a-ok as it is? please scruffy, spell it out for me. in english.

just one day out of life...

checked my email this morning, and what do i have but a weekend special getaway offer from wyndham hotels... oooh, i'm excited! maybe we could go up to sonoma or somewhere on the coast. get away from it all. relax. have air conditioning.

well, sure. but only in tampa. florida.the place where it rains every afternoon in the summer. and it's hot. and then there's hurricane season. and did i mention that the "special offer" is for tampa? not miami. or fort lauderdale (where i get free lodging anway). or sanibel island. or the keys. but tampa? notice it sounds very similar to tampon.

Wyndham Tampa Westshore - rates from $59/night for only 72 hours!
Take advantage of our special weekend employee rates from $59/night for only 72 hours! Stay with us on a weekend anytime between July 28 and September 30, 2006 and you'll pay our great low rates from just $59/night.

is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

our bi-weekly veggie box arrived, and inside along with cherry tomatoes, peaches, green beans, summer squash, celery, and bing cherries comes the largest cucumber i've ever seen. insert your own cucumber joke here.

yo so hawt

this weekend was a scorcher, and so i've come to realize there a few things to be thankful for when living in the city by the bay on a 90+ degree weekend:

1. the n-judah: it's air conditioned. and with a bus pass, free.
2. friends with pools. sure, i don't swim, but when they conveniently throw an alumni event on a blistering hot weekend, my toes, ankles, and feet are very happy to take a dip.
3. the frozen food aisle at trader joe's. you can only stay so long, though, or you'll end up like all those chickens and cows and salmon.
4. dark window drapes. keep out the heat, keep off the clothes.
5. our lack of hot water. you'd never know it, but it's a blessing in disguise to be able to turn on a cold shower at full strength and cool off. thank you, ever-capable landlord.

reality bites

tvguide published this today:

Top Model Staffers Plan Catwalkout

A dozen staff writer-producers at UPN's CW's America's Next Top Model are threatening a Friday walkout if executive producer Ken Mok doesn’t agree to their demand for union representation. This protest exemplifies a major push by the WGA to have reality-show scribes be granted the same union privileges as their peers on scripted fare. In a statement issued Thursday, Mok called upon the National Labor Relations Board to ensure that a secret-ballot election is held on the matter.

now, what i want to know is, why does a reality show need a dozen writer-producers? it's supposed to be reality. real. not fake. not scripted. yet 12 people to write tyra's lines of "there are 10 models standing before me, but only 9 will continue on to becoming america's next top model." um... guys, those lines haven't changed for 5 seasons! and it's so convoluted. instead, how about "one of you is getting kicked off. most likely the one everyone at home likes and will one day be a huge sensation. now i put all your names in a hat, so let me pick a name. and the model going home today will be... announced after the break!"

photo from wireimage (c) Kevin Mazur

hooked on comics worked for me

if you're like me, you're a teeny tiny bit upset that cartoon network canceled both justice league and teen titans. these nimble superheroes brought animated life to the screen and good old fashion butt kicking back to life, and there's nothing quite like them. but now you can relive days of old with superhero stamps. i never thought i'd say this, but us postal service, you're the best! now quick question, if i use a stamp with the flash on it, will my package get to it's destination faster?

5 things not to get your mom for her birthday

unless she asks for them.
and even then, you might want to avoid 'em.






1. a night out. at a strip club. wearing a tiara. with you.
perhaps for a bachelorette party, but your mom is no longer a bachelorette. trust me.

2. barry manilow cd's
she's not dead yet, either. (barry white is acceptable, though.)

3. botox
not so much because you'll make her feel bad, but because then you'll want some, too. and that stuff gets to be expensive!

4. an itsy bitsy teeny weenie yellow polka dot bikini
unless she's a size 0 like my mom. and still. this one's a no.

5. grandchildren
only if she's popping the kiddies out herself.

do si do your partner round...

i have 2 birthdays that are coming up. not mine personally, but 2 birthdays to shop for, which means i need to rack my brain about gifts. one is todd's, and he's so non-materialistic that it's tough. at first i was going go take him to fleur de lys, but my wallet just won't allow it. it unzipped itself, yelled obsenities at me, reminded me that chef keller still serves foie gras, and threatened to rip up all my credit cards because i'd go into debt from one night of overblown delicious coma-inducing bliss. as of late may, i was going to get him an mp3 player, but he snuck out last month and bought one without my knowledge, so i'm back at square 1. my mom's birthday is the day after, and this too is a mystery. in the past i've sent flowers, perfume, wine, chocolate... all things that her man-friend should get her. so i've been trying to find something fun yet modern yet hip yet functional and not too mother-ish (red envelope, you're no help. whatsoever.). a purse? she just got me one. a massage? don't know if she ever used the last one she got as a gift. rosemary cooking salts? just gave some to her. at least this time i never left square 1. yet i just feel so... square. without the saddle shoes and ponytail with bangs.

tipsy. literally.

as if the deoderant incident wasn't enough to shock me into careful, controlled movements, last night after leaving cav, having munched on heavenly fondue, coconut pot de creme, and spanish wine, i tripped on my own foot and took a tumble down market street. the upside: this was a very clean, non-homeless part of market. the downside: my ankle's swollen and painful, and i have to prop it up on a chair while i recruit focus groups all day. maybe you should just commit me now.

powder fresh

when i was younger (much, much younger), my life consisted of dance. that's it. in high school, i would spend my lunch hours with the other dancers, rehearsing or sewing pointe shoes or choreographing or watching old performance videos. i even remember when, during the weeks leading up to the high school musical, my english teacher let me skip out of class to go practice my tapping. and back then, i was pretty graceful, yet still gawky and somewhat clumsy at times. really, why did my backpack have to weigh 40 lbs? and were platform shoes back in style for a reason or just to make my life a living hell?

apparently, now that i've taken summer ballet class number 4, i seem to think all that grace and elogance has returned. for example, sunday i made an effort to clean the bathroom. with grace. ta ta dah! soft scrub the tub! dum dee dum. mop the floor! rah rah eeeek! and as i'm scrubbing the toilet and flushing all the lovely blue liquid down the drain, in jumps my deoderant! all i did was flick my elbow a little too much to the right, and down went the dove original scent, making it's way like a goldfish to the great big unknown.

or did it? several hours later, in a state of fret, i wondered if the toilet would ever flush again. our piping in the building, well it's awful. and the landlord isn't one to mess with. so i take a leap of faith and flush. and what do you know, but i hear "clankety clankety clank." and the water drains but doesn't fill. so i take that next big leap of faith and plunge the daylights out of the toilet. and plunge some more. by the way, this plunging thing is a great sub-workout to the whole semi-return-to-ballet thing. really works those deltoid muscles. after working well into the night (or at least a good 20 minutes), what comes bobbing up for apples, but my anti-perspirant! yippee! hooray! righty ho! but i did the smart, graceful thing, dropping that deoderant into the garbage can, pirouetting with happiness, and then flying like a dove far far away as quickly as i could.

putty in my hands

at the new job, i'm in the middle of a giant room with 7 other cubes, and i face the copy room and the emergency exit. since i've pretty much settled in, i think it's time to jazz up the place. one of my cube neighbors put up an artsy mobile, and she also brought in a bean bag chair. i'm not thinking that extreme yet, but perhaps a plant and a few photos. and an ice cream maker. and a hot tub.

dear ms. stewart,

my office space is in utter need of your stellar help, wisdom, and guidance! as you may know, with a move or a trip to the big house or a new job comes a new workspace. my old one was dark greenish/grey, with a tackboard area for my oakland a's roster picture and momentos. i also had half a bay window, which allowed lots of natural light to shine down on me, and several cabinets and drawers for storage. but at this new company, some divine workspace designer somehow had this whacked-out idea that the color scheme "putty redux" would motivate me to produce faster and better, yet instead it encourages me to trank out and snore. and when i want to find a report or proposal, i go ahuntin', as most of my files are in cor-o-van boxes or shoved into two very tiny filing drawers. how can i spruce up my workspace without going over the edge?

your humble servant and wannabe organized worker bee,
becca

ps. i really enjoyed the inspirational segment you did with matt lauer on packing lightly for a trip. somehow, though, it didn't quite compute, as my suitcase was still just as heavy as normal. i did, though, put my (10 pairs of) shoes on the bottom, just as you instructed!

becca & the chocolate factory

While CocoaBella's just a few steps away, Goldleaf Chocolatier is known as Cow Hollow's local chocolatier. However, that "is" is soon to be was! At the end of the month, Goldleaf is closing their Union Street doors as they've lost their lease! While they will relocate (at a soon-to-be-disclosed location), you can take advantage of the snooty Union Street landlords' opportunism and stock up on chocolates at a discount. Also, don't miss the tasting party- yum yum!

Due to the loss of our lease at 2250 Union St, we're moving Goldleaf Chocolatier to a new location (to be announced soon).

We're still making all your favorites such as fresh fudge, Ecstasy Balls, nut clusters etc. but to clear inventory we have many markdowns with some items up to 50% off. Throughout July we are also offering other great specials. For example,

• Free Votive Candle with any $5 purchase
• 1/4 lb Fudge Free with any $20 purchase
• Free T-Shirt with any $50 purchase
• Free sweatshirt with with any $75 purchase
• Free sweatshirt & 1/4 lb Fudge with any $100 purchase

Stop by the store today for these and other great deals.

Thank You Tasting Party

For all our valued customers we are hosting a Thank You Tasting Party. Join Us on Friday July 14th 5:30pm - 8:00pm for Sangria and Chocolate Samples while you browse our in-store specials.

At Goldleaf Chocolatier, our products are hand-made, with the highest quality, freshest ingredients.Send us an email or drop by our retail store: 2250 Union Street between Steiner & Fillmore. Open Daily 10am - 6pm. 415-922-5711

hi, heya, hello, hola.

hi, julia!

yet i'm no kelly clarkson

while i was suffering through grandparent/relative hell bliss mania this weekend, todd was on his way east. and not just anywhere east, but to connecticut (where we met), the cape, and new york (he'd better bring me a souvenier, i tell ya. do they sell astronaut ice cream at the baseball museum?). it's been nice to have a few days on my own, and the cat definitely enjoys the undivided attention, but i have to tell ya, this world is not accepting of single people. not people who are single. but one person. as in anymore people than 1. like a group. like when you go to a restaurant and you want a table. for one. 1. and they give you a look. and say "just 1?" as if my mysteriously invisible date is all of a sudden going to appear out of nowhere. or that i am not worthy of their half-assed attempt at the best semi-not-fine dining in the haight because it's simply me and not me and three friends who will yack and shriek and take up the table for 4 times as long for, in the end, the same amount of money/minute. or when i go to a movie and order a small popcorn. and the guy says "for just another $6, you can upgrade to a large popcorn and large soda and raisinets" (and they have dark chocolate raisinets- yum). and i'm like "um. no. then you'd have to roll me out of the theater and down the escalator and heave me onto a bus and carry me up 4 flights of stairs and grease me down with crisco before squeezing me through my doorway." and then he gives me the look. just like the restaurant host. "oh. you're alone. by yourself. without company. nevermind." as if we can't do anything alone anymore because that symbolizes that we don't jive with the rest of the world. or that i may make a decision that carries just as much weight as anyone elses, but it's only for me. i can't convince anyone else in line to get a sack-o heart attack pack. it's as if oh, no, she's gone to a movie by herself. and only gotten a small bag of fat and carbs instead of the artery-clogging one. and only paid $7.50 for a so-so movie instead of $15. the movie studios will earn less of a profit because i (and a handful of other peeps) am making decisions for myself and only myself, instead of being swayed into giving into our out-of-control consumerist ways such as dragging the boyfriend to a movie he didn't want to see, focusing on clothes and self-indulgence and extravagence and pleasing everyone except myself. oh boo hoo. suck it up and deal, america. i did, and todd's probably a lot happier for it. how's that for thinking for the group?

school of rock

my sister and i survived our trip to ohio, grandparents, prying questions, and all. and better yet, we ran across two funny signs and, well, a funny church. with a rock. or a stone. and a fountain.

this was posted above a classroom at tipp city high school.

In the women's room. I didn't want the flu, but I did want to flush. Aaaah-choo.

This is the Solid Rock Church, as seen from the 75.

Doesn't it make you want to pray?