put some clothes on

and to go along with the mary carey theme, we, the residents of san francisco, are being discouraged from littering while naked. what's next, don't mow the lawn naked? that is, if any of us had lawns...

(taken with my new enV phone. love love love the camera feature.)

fondly we'll remember you...

i went to the same school from pre-k through 11th grade, and we were constantly told that if we put in enough hard work, studying, and effort, we'd all make something of ourselves. case in point, kelsey grammer. he graduated way way way before i did, but he won a mantle-ful of emmys, returned 20+ years later for homecoming, got trashed in the alumni tent, and then to make things better, donated a few briefcases of money to the school. another example, andy from the apprentice (his brother sat in front of me in calculus). he was the young 20s recent grad from harvard there to kick everyone's asses, only to get "fired" for not enough real world experience. one year later, he gave a talk at ye ol' high school alma mater about perseverance. oh, and trump hired him. then there's farris hassan, the 16 year-old kid who illegally travelled to Beirut on his winter vacation, hoping to do humanitarian work in iraq. or at least find hezbollah and shoot the $h!t while sharing a plate of warm falafel. but probably my favorite pc celeb is mary carey, who is more famous for her platform shoes than her party platform. and of course, mary has decided to grace us with her presence this holiday season! thanks, mary. you sure know how to make the holidays feel all homey. but not horny.

she's a tree... house.

todd's mom has been living in the caribbean for awhile now, and she's decided to start a business. or two. or three. so todd's helping out and somehow i got coerced begged bribed roped into joining the family biz. the first business is a bakery, starting off with breads and expanding from there. as my skills are pretty limited (however, i love bread. especially with lavender salt a little stonehouse olive oil), todd put me in charge of public relations. i thought, "ok. i've done this before. i can do press releases, contact travel media, smile, etc." but no. PR in its infantile stage means.... internet presence and website design and management. only problem is that i have very basic html skills and no real software (other than adobe photoshop elements, which many times goes on the fritz if i'm working with large images).

with no professional training or development opportunities to increase (or simply give me) my mad skillz, i cheated. that's right. cheated. and i never cheat. as my mom will attest, i don't park in "no parking" zones or make a right turn on red unless the DPT has bestowed their highest approval on me. and today, when the cashier didn't charge me for a $4 loaf of bread and i pointed it out to her, she just looked at me like i was crazy. "but then i'd have to ring you up again. just take the bread." um... free 9-grain sourdough? ok.

so, about this website. when i went to register with godaddy.com, i bought the web publishing ability, and what a deal. email, hosting, domain for $1.99, and the publishing software with templates? bonus. so now i have a "draft" version of the treehouse bakery up. next project? airbrushing by dona.

2+1

last night, we headed to shangri-la for a buddhist/non-xmas/feeling sick dinner. after downing some yummy spinach and tofu soup and veggie "spareribs," we got our fortunes. todd's was all uplifting. "You have an active mind and a keen imagination. apply your ideas." Mine, however, not so much. "Your lucky number for this week is the number three." Gee. thanks, Buddha. or Confucius. or the fortune cookie factory. you sure know how to make a girl feel special.

things that come in threes
1. three meals in a day
2. three pomegranates for $1 (at the farmer's market)
3. three days before friday
4. triplets
5. the movie three kings
6. a tricycle has three tires...
7. lithium (3 is its atomic number)
8. shift + 3= # (I can play lots of tic tac toe)
9. small forwards
10. trilogies (or in star wars' case, 2 trilogies)

and it's verb-atim, too.

todd: hey, i've got a dangling thread here.
becca: is that like a dangling participle?

that voice, where have I heard that voice before?

long ago in a universe far, far away, my mom, sister, and i used to play the best driving-to-school-and-back game: punch buggy. whoever saw the old beaten up vw beetle first would yell at the top of her lungs, "punch buggy, no returns" and lightly punch the arm closest to her. the best buggy was in victoria park: we'd turn the corner and it was almost always parked in the driveway, just waiting for my arm to get crushed with my sister's effervescent taps. but in the last 10 years or so, old beetle bugs have become rarer, and the game's relevance has gone astray.

last month, when my mom was visiting, her boyfriend made a comment about how many priuses were on the road here. apparently, hybrid cars are still foreign in florida. i made a comment, saying here in san francisco, we had more priuses than people. which, if you didn't count the homeless and few children under the age of 10, might be true. a week ago, todd and i started taking notice of all the priuses, not only in our neighborhood, but all over the city. and so we resurrected the punch buggy game, only this time, it wasn't the vw bug that caused the punching; it's the prius. so far, neither of us are black and blue. but we did need to update the game rules for today's more astute and technologically savvy society.

Punch Prius Rules
1. When hanging out with friends, family, or enemies, whoever sees a Prius and says "Prius!" with an upward "ting" on the "pri" may then lightly tap (i.e. gently punch) the upper arm of one person in said party.
2. this means you may not punch the head, boobs, or other private areas of the punchee.
3. the punchee may not be a total stranger. or an animal.
4. the sighted prius must be seen in-person. a commercial, billboard, or magazine advertisement doesn't count.
5. toyota and car dealerships (as are fox rent-a-car and ev rentals) in general are off-limits.
6. if you own a prius, your car if off-limits, too. as are if you are riding in one.
7. there is a penalty punch for calling "Prius!" on a non-prius vehicle. only the punch is really a penalty tickle. with a feather.
8. you can not call "Prius!" on the same car in the same parking spot more than once per day. if you want to get smart about it though, keep a calendar and track street cleaning days. or just put tracking devices on all priuses you see.
9. older models of priuses count, so study up on the early models.
10. if you are riding the bus, and your buddy is not within arms length, you cannot call him/her to yell "Prius!" nor can you "save" punches to serve later on. taking a photo with your phone is also a no-no.
11. once someone has called "Prius!," no one else may punch on that "Prius!" for that day. this is known to those "in the know" as the "no-returns" rule.
12. it is not fair to yell "Prius!" and then attack one's arm if that punchee is carrying grocery bags. unless you want broken eggs and soymilk flying everywhere. here, a gentle tap of the finger is more appropriate and less costly.
13. do not plan a prius parade with the intent to knock out your buddies. if you do so, the authorities will be notified and you will be banished to Idaho. and good luck finding a prius there.

that lovely quote at the top is from rocky & bullwinkle. rocky the squirrel is much cuter than rocky the fighter (and puncher).

mo money mo problems

i've been trying to figure out how to blow spend my birthday (received) and holiday (yet to come) money. on one hand, i'd really enjoy the canon digital rebel xt, yet i could go all out and make a splash with all new pricey accessories for the new year.

for instance, how about a purse that doubles as a pet? for just a measley $887.95 (originally $1,388.95), pocket change really, you could be "spotted" all over town toting this carlos falchi handbag in tow. at night, feed it a little kibble and bits, and it'll purr just like a sweet (and squished-face) yet expensive purebread himalayan. in fact, the real kitten probably cost more, so this purse is a bargain! plus, no emptying the litter or cleaning up hairballs.

but perhaps shoes are more your style. well, get pimpin' with these metallic rabbit feet boots. poor little wabbits went poof just so you could be reflective, warm, and fashionable. all this at a reasonable price of $1,143.95; just think of the airline miles you could earn!

civics lesson

the other day, i was talking to my grandmother while navigating the J-train and the intersection at market and church. there were lots of people around, so every so often i missed a word. until she said, "your grandfather and i want to know how your car is doing because we may trade our miata in early next year and get one." wha-haaaaa? this may seem normal to the everyday, non-whitmer knowing individual. but my grandparents are in ohio, a fairly red state, and my grandmother is pretty conservative. when i was younger (think 10), when my parents would send me to stay with them for a week or two, she would insist i wear her clothes so i'd be appropriately dressed when we went "into town." this included long plaid skirts. and lace cotton blouses. and bows in my hair. and she dragged me to church. and she voted for bush in '04 because while bush was a "very bad man" and he took us to war, she couldn't see herself voted for a darn tootin' liberal like kerry even though he's of irish descent. and she loves the irish (really, you should see her fridge magnets). yet i was super impressed that at 70-something they're considering trading in their little red miata that she loves so dearly and getting a hybrid! so we chatted about our civic, and how i couldn't vouch for much yet as we've basically driven it to the airport and back, to work(todd, not me), and parked it, but so far, we've really enjoyed it, and expect to do so in the future. and at that moment, i could hear clearly. the heavens opened up, and i thanked god, buddha, and/or kurt cobain for knocking some sense into her (although somehow i think her '04 vote is more important, a plea they didn't answer). and i'm sure she thanked god and jesus in return for making me a believer. sort of.

muni tails

i started my holiday shopping early this year. i made my list of who's been naughty and nice, calculated the current postal price for shipping coal, and came to the pine-tree sniffing conclusion that i should pick out (most) of my gifts in person. that's right. amazon.com would be relegated to the difficult-to-find items (such as a genealogy computer program for the grandpa), and i would buy everything else on foot. i started a few weeks ago, even purchasing gifts for 3 people prior to thanksgiving. this weekend, i braved the storm downtown and made a mad (which transformed into the crazy) dash throughout the new mall. after 3 hours of incessant lines, indecisive shoppers, and throngs of people haphazardly milling about, i threw my hands up in disgust and hopped a bus home. and that's where i thought the most awful shopping event ever would be over. but this is san francisco, right?

i was sitting next to, well, someone. i had my headphones on, listening to NPR and whatever illustrative commentary they were providing, while also contemplating our dinner options (pasta, pasta, or... frozen potato pancakes by the dozen. little star pizza won out in the end.). we got to civic center, and the person (hey, it's a woman!) next to me says something. really, with my high-quality headphones from cowon, it was all just a jumble. so i take them off and ask her to repeat her question....

fizzy haired, green eye shadow up to her eyebrows, purple flowing house dress lady: i have a cat question.
becca: um... kay.
lady: you just seem to be a cat person. you have this big aura around you, one that just screams that you enjoy cats.
b: me? eh... i have a cat.
l: yes. i can tell. and you've had cats your whole life.
b: well... pretty much. i also had dogs growing up. big dogs, little dogs... is it the fur on my polartec? alphie loves to snuggle up on it.
l: no no no. i mean throughout your past lives, you've always been very close to cats. they've always been your confidantes. and i can see it all, right now (starts waving her hands).
b: on the 21 hayes? you can see all that on the bus? you sure it isn't just my exhaustion from almost getting eaten alive at the mall?
l: so i have this cat problem, and i know you can help me. i've had dogs most of my lives, but for the past 12 years, i've had cats. and i just put in a cat door so they can go inside and out. do you think they can learn to use the door? or should i wait until they're kittens again?
b: kittens? um... again? like... in their next lives?
l: right
b: well... you can always teach a dog new tricks, so why not?
l: oh, look at your aura... it's glowing.
b: yeah... look, a bus stop! and it seems to have an aura to it, one that's calling to me. this isn't my stop, but... i'll take it.