shake your groove thang

11.29.2012

this is a THING, people.

i never knew that lactation was such a rich, engrossing field. i mean, b00bs are great and all, but leaky ones? this is a real thing, people.

10.22.2012

i must admit that i really like instagram. it chops my pictures into little squares, hides my non-existent real-life highlighting/shadowing abilities, and coats me in all things pretense and uber hipsterness. all i need now are black plastic Weezer glasses and some grandpa saddle shoes.

even with the stigma, i try and look past it to the life-alteringly amazingness that is camera phone code, bells, and whistles: cool borders, artsy purple-hued filters, AND the graininess of an old film camera. for once, i'm creeping toward the cusp of "almost with it," no longer satisfied with the "embrace j.crew and be done with it" lifestyle that i've ambiguously led all of these years.

but, dear sirs and madams, there's a filter that would improve my life fourfold: i want one that can turn my subjects from warm-hued, hippy Californians into pasty, brain-hungry zombies. that family photo that my mom turned into a holiday card needs to be zombiefied ASAP. same thing with my sister's pre-wedding festivities. the apocalypse is in, yo. so instagram, i'm waiting for you. get your brain trust hopping on this. mmm. brains.