There's a communication GAP in my shirt.

I'm finally taking some vacation days and going home to visit my mom and sister next week. The weather in South Florida is, as can be expected for mid-late summer, hot and humid. Think100 degree steam sauna minus the door to the air conditioned gym and juice bar yet includes elderly people behind bus-sized Cadillacs. In order to prepare, I thought I'd go to Old Navy and get some el cheapo tank tops that can take all the sweat and washer/dryer abuse that I can give 'em. I found a few cute basic ones in decent colors and thought that trying them on might be wise. What if the arm holes were constructed for Shrek? Perhaps the vertical stripage will be a detraction? No worries about this stuff because the shirts were crapola. Why is Old Navy making cute tank tops and tees that go to my mid-thigh? My shirt should not be an ill-fitting dress. What is this, 1983? And don't get me started on the Bermuda shorts craze. Really, there are shorts, capris, and pants... What, did a pair of shorts wine and dine some capris, and poof, 9 months later we got Bermudas running around all over the place?