dress me

after the wedding (aka the big shindig back in october), i called the dress cleaner that amy kuschel (the company, not the woman herself, although i bet they're one and the same) recommended. a nice woman named lynette told me that my dress would take a few months to clean-no problem! a week later, todd and his mom graciously delivered my wedding dress to the special, frou frou dress cleaner, upon which lynette told them "four months." i called to confirm this, and she got somewhat snippy with me, insisting that she'd call me when it's ready to pick up in february.

with no call from lynette in sight, we're approaching the six month mark. the other day, i called the cleaners to check-in. lynette's reply: "larry's working on it. he should be done by the end of summer." hmm. april showers crept in to my dreams last night, and yet i'm no closer to having my dream gown back than i was in november.

now, let me be very clear. i understand that cleaning imported japanese mikado silk takes great care and skill, and it's going to cost me a pretty penny, too. but in the time it takes larry to clean my dress, i could have popped out twins. i'm just saying.

you'd think she would have noticed the rings on my finger.

i jumped through all the hoops to change my last name at work: marriage license, social security card, new W-2 form, etc. with a new email address in hand, i sent a message to those i work closely with, but don't really know on a personal level--those who most likely didn't know that i had gotten married. one of the women emailed me to say that she'd let all of her colleagues know, so that i wouldn't need to send out any more emails to her staff. delegating tasks rocks.

last week, i traveled to one of our other local offices for a presentation, and during lunch, a colleague whom i'd never met before came up to me and said, "i don't know whether to congratulate or console you." to which i replied, "um... but why?" she said, "i received the email about your new last name and that it was because of a "life-altering event." you're so young! why did you get divorced?"

my very legal baggie full of pot

since i live in the city and can't get packages reliably delivered at home (this includes pretty much anything larger than an envelope!), i have most things sent to me at work, including bras, cat food, and everything nintendo.

awhile back, the branding chicks down in LA sent me a cooking game for my dsi along with a really cool cuisinart cooking pot. i took the cooking assistant game home with me, as it was small and could fit in my purse, but i kept the stew pot at work for odd reasons that now don't make too much sense, like we were running out of room with the wedding gifts piling up, and i couldn't figure out how to get the pot home easily on the bus.

it's quite possibly been six months since receipt, but last friday, i decided to start this new year off right--getting back to blogging, straightening up my office were amongst my non-resolutiony goals. that evening, i carted my pot home in an old navy bag (which amazingly, never even got so much as a hole in it. how do old navy bags hold up better than their clothes?) via the bus. but how is it i didn't get one pot joke (besides from todd and me) the whole way home?


* as a nintendo wii and dsi brand ambassador through brand about town, i receive free games and other products, like a nintendo dsi and a dsi xl. the wii, though, was a wedding gift from a good friend. the opinions expressed in this blog are mine and the facts true.

i returneth.

today, my sister finally gave me the heave-ho, saying, "your blog has been lacking. unacceptable." eek. when my own sister tells me that i (or my blog) is unacceptable, well, that's fairly serious. according to her, dying my hair pink is encouraged, burping the alphabet would win me a medal (i'm very, very medal-less at this point), and should i choose to dance along the golden gate bridge on a cold winter morning, she would shower me with standing ovations galore. case in point (for her):


the 13 second mark is my favorite, even with the video upside down. so em, here's a photo for you, snapped along irving street in the sunset last month.

oh, and i'm back.

recently...

i've been a very bad blogger recently, but i decided that posting all about the wedding wouldn't leave much in the way of surprise... plus, if things go wonky at the last minute, then i may have to work overtime to curb expectations. so for those coming to the wedding, expect cake, locally sourced (hetch hetchy) water, and some vow-ish stuff.

last month for the appeal, i shadowed joe goode performance group as they loaded in to the old mint for their monthlong performances of "traveling light." the staff were nice enough to let me tag along through a few rehearsals, camera in tow.

the few hours there proved that i have a lot to learn, mainly what in the world do all these buttons and knobs on my camera do!?!? but i think this is my favorite image from the afternoon, taken while some of the dancers soaked up vitamin d while lounging on the courtyard stage.

My second favorite image is this one (also black and white).

And here's a slideshow of the rest of the images (the good ones, of course).

thanks, but no thanks

paper source describes the below card as "fun letterpress note cards [that] are wonderful to mail to friends." i don't know what kind of buddies paper source keeps, but i don't want those kinds of friends.

do me a favor

with a few minutes to kill this morning, i took a gander at wedding favors. i have something in mind, but thought, hey, maybe i could find something better. only i came across:

hmm. a match made is heaven, yes. a wedding reception burnt to the ground, no.

votive or shot glass? if i have to ask, the answer is nyet.

a wedding dress candle is only appropriate for the bride jilted at the alter. now, why is this a favor?

fairy lollipops: maybe spot-on for a same-sex wedding, but what are those ladies holding in their hands? i have a sneaky suspicion that the candy maker has more experience with personal magic wands than with ones spewing sparkly dust and magical properties. yep, i said spew.

i also came across a large selection of fake mustaches. possibly cute in small quantities, a dizzying event filled full of mustache-attached-to-dowel guests might become a hairy scene!

first comes love, then comes...

i'm getting really bad at blogging. i think the wedding is taking over my brain like catnip does to alphie! i've been keeping a running list in my head of things todd might one day be thankful for regarding my nature, outlook, and bridal style. for instance:

1) i think my big redneck wedding is a rad tv show (is it canceled? i really miss it. it sure beats bridezillas--which i refuse to link to. if you don't know what a bridezilla is, let alone there's a show all about them, get out from under your rock now!--for shear entertainment factor.), i don't ever want to have an actual redneck wedding. camo tuxes, a hay-spitting* bridal party (where my sister supplies the hay!), a beer can chuppah, and post-i-do mud wrestling are not at the top of my getting-hitched schedule of events. the only red neck should be on the long-lost family member who forgets to re-apply sunscreen.

2) i'm anti-poofy/fluffy/frilly. such things will only be found under the dress or at the nearby quinceañera. thankfully, the mission is a short distance away, so if someone is screaming for a lace-filled afternoon full of meringue, i can easily point you in the right direction.

3) my shoes. i have two options, and i'm working on breaking in both ahead of time so he doesn't have to drag me, my dress, and a magnum of champagne (oh, ok, sparkling wine) around for 4+ hours. instead, he'll probably just have to resort to this for the last 60 minutes or so.

4) i love modern dance, but i recognize that there's a time and place for interpretive dance, and it's not going to be at our reception. jazz hands, though, are acceptable and encouraged. fosse!

5) my willingness to go the extra mile. sure, an email to jon stewart to be our officiant hasn't been returned (yet), but it's the thought that counts, right?


*after some hemming and hawing, i've decided hay-spitting, when used an as adjective, should be hyphenated. if you have a problem with that, too bad.

toe-ing the line

this weekend, i surveyed zappos for wedding shoes. since we're having a garden-setting wedding, i'd prefer shoes without spiky heels, and as todd's got about 8 inches on me, some kind of vertical lift would be nice! entering "white" and "wedge" into the search bar brought up hundreds of (surprisingly tame) options, with these four popping out with the not-quite-what-i-had-in-mind-but-cool/odd/eek factor.

i seriously love these shoes from gwen stefani's l.a.m.b. clothing brand, but i detest the $260 (on sale from $329) price tag.

um. no. just no. but on a whim, can you guess what zappos insists these guiseppe zanotti wedges retail for?

these angel stompers are by vivienne westwood, and i can only assume they're made with the cracked-out bride in mind. i'm not [planning to be] one of them.

if i were getting married in the rain or across the border, these would be at the top of my list! no, really. i'm serious. dead serious.