3.07.2006

20 grand

i'm normally a pretty timely person (not including all of that procrastination up until a deadline). in fact, when i have appointments or meetings, i'm more likely early than on time. as of last week, i hadn't gotten a bill for my timely gallbladder removal process, so i decided to call and see what the hold up was. it'd been a month, and while true that february was indeed a shorter month than all other months, i felt that if i needed to refinance my lack of finances, i should do so sooner rather than later. now before the surgery, my hmo had told me i would only have to pay a $300 co-pay, which was relief to my ears. but what do you know. the happy go-lucky finance woman called me back on friday (as i had to call a main number, get transferred to the special finance number, then pick from numbers 1-4 based on the first initial of my last name, then i had to do the hokey pokey and turn myself around....aagh.), she happily told me she was sending me an itemized bill. for $19,500! was my gallbladder really worth that? because really, it wasn't functioning and had no use anymore, so i'd assign it a big whopping $0. but no. all those friendly, cuddly nurses, smiling docs, funny head bonnet, and sleepy medicine all added up to almost $20K. if i had that money, i doubt i'd spend it on a failing organ. instead, i could:
  • get 2/3 of a mini cooper.
  • go back to school (even waste it on that masters in some-kind-of-history degree i've always wanted).
  • have a's season tickets for life. in the bullpen. right next to huston.
  • quit my job and work for an animal rescue organization (for a year or so) while living in a tiny box equipped with a security system somewhere near 6th and market.
  • travel around the world. clockwise. and counterclockwise.
  • laser off all that unwanted hair.
  • buy numbing cream to accompany the lasering.
  • reapply the hair when the earth starts to freeze over and all hell breaks loose.

2 comments:

James said...

That is an expensive useless organ! By the way, did you get to take it home in a jar? I hope so! I wanna see it!!! Take a photo and put it on your blog! :)

Becca said...

you'd think for 20K i'd get to keep it, right? apparently it went into the biohazard bin. or the garbage.