20 grand

i'm normally a pretty timely person (not including all of that procrastination up until a deadline). in fact, when i have appointments or meetings, i'm more likely early than on time. as of last week, i hadn't gotten a bill for my timely gallbladder removal process, so i decided to call and see what the hold up was. it'd been a month, and while true that february was indeed a shorter month than all other months, i felt that if i needed to refinance my lack of finances, i should do so sooner rather than later. now before the surgery, my hmo had told me i would only have to pay a $300 co-pay, which was relief to my ears. but what do you know. the happy go-lucky finance woman called me back on friday (as i had to call a main number, get transferred to the special finance number, then pick from numbers 1-4 based on the first initial of my last name, then i had to do the hokey pokey and turn myself around....aagh.), she happily told me she was sending me an itemized bill. for $19,500! was my gallbladder really worth that? because really, it wasn't functioning and had no use anymore, so i'd assign it a big whopping $0. but no. all those friendly, cuddly nurses, smiling docs, funny head bonnet, and sleepy medicine all added up to almost $20K. if i had that money, i doubt i'd spend it on a failing organ. instead, i could:
  • get 2/3 of a mini cooper.
  • go back to school (even waste it on that masters in some-kind-of-history degree i've always wanted).
  • have a's season tickets for life. in the bullpen. right next to huston.
  • quit my job and work for an animal rescue organization (for a year or so) while living in a tiny box equipped with a security system somewhere near 6th and market.
  • travel around the world. clockwise. and counterclockwise.
  • laser off all that unwanted hair.
  • buy numbing cream to accompany the lasering.
  • reapply the hair when the earth starts to freeze over and all hell breaks loose.


James said...

That is an expensive useless organ! By the way, did you get to take it home in a jar? I hope so! I wanna see it!!! Take a photo and put it on your blog! :)

Becca said...

you'd think for 20K i'd get to keep it, right? apparently it went into the biohazard bin. or the garbage.