take cover

i realized the other day that i've been putting the toilet seat cover on upside down for my entire life. now, everything that i normally do i've been second-guessing or having to pause and think is that really the way to pour water into my hot chocolate or sharpen a pencil or get on a bus or open my eyes. what's next, i don't breathe right? wait, i don't--i'm a mouth breather. my whole right nostril doesn't work. darn. foiled again!