the best things in life are free

the celebs get swag, and good swag at that. swarovski crystal pot holders, a harley with its own chanel makeup pouch, and an ipod that doubles as a nose hair trimmer, and while i don't get swag (as i'm a lowly commoner), i love free stuff (thank the jewish grandmother). today at the gym, they had two freebies: stay put hair ties and schick extreme 3 for women. sure, i didn't get 6 pairs of manolos with matching toy poodle, but with the rain we've been having, they'd be ruined (and the dog would fro) in a heartbeat. but with my freebies of the day, i can pull alphie's hair into a bun and shave him (just kidding, although todd wishes i weren't!). life is grand.