dress up, dress down.

i've been searching for a cute little dress for the holidays. you know, something i can wear to a birthday or new year's dinner, to the office holiday party, to the movies on christmas, etc. i enlisted todd's help, and we hit the mall the weekend post-thanksgiving, but while i found cute dresses, they definitely weren't office party friendly. "hi CEO, please meet todd, my long-time boyfriend/laundry partner-in-crime and my twins, bah and joonga." yeah, not quite what i had in mind.

before leaving for boston, i tried out nordstrom's "personal touch," which was billed as a personal shopping service, but that pretty much sucked. the woman, in her mid to late 50s, had asked me a slew of questions over the phone, but decided not to "act on my responses" until she saw me... then she dragged me all over the store to find the right colors for me (no, i'm not a warm person! silver, lady, not gold.), and then she kept pushing me toward stepford wife-type dresses. you know: big belt, poofy skirt, black mesh on top, and flippy hair. apparently that look is in again. on mars.

so that effort failed immensely. while here in boston, and with the weather so cold that my mascara froze within a 10 minute walk (to a delicious little bakery/cafe), i've decided to try (via the wide warm web) to find the most hideous dress i can. at least i'll be noticed.

example a

laundry by design bubble dress, $425, bloomingdales

because when you want to dress up and have fun, nothing says it best than "gee, you look pregnant!" better than this lovely poof.

example b

a.b.s. pintucked shirt dress, $298, nordstrom
clowns, oversized men's shirts, and satin. just what i wanted!

example c

a.b.s. bronze pleated bubble dress, $138 ($230 retail), bluefly
'cuz i've always wanted to be one of those metallic performers down at the warf! brrp, zswoosh, surp.

example d

vera wang pocket dress, $660 ($1,100 retail), bluefly
using my boyfriend's pockets says "lipstick management," but having my own screams "independence!"

example e

rachel roy bloom dress, $1,207 ($2,013 retail), bluefly
it's like tinkerbell's gone goth.

example f

zac posen silk bonnie dress, $2,200, eluxury
because whirling dervishes are making a comeback.

example g

jean paul gaultier babydoll dress, $495 (what a deal!), eluxury
it's like you're 5 and taking a cruise through mexico. maracas not included.

example h

marc jacobs wave dress, $2,400, eluxury

i've always wanted to wear a dress inspired by windex.