last friday, i got a call from a colleague in southern california. i hear from her once every few months, and each time she manages to emanate massive waves of jewish guilt on multiple levels. the beginning of our latest exchange went something like this:
me: hello, this is becca.
yael: hello becca hxxxxxxman*! it's such a glorious day!!!
me: hi there, yael **. what can i do for you?
yael: well, first off, i want to apologize. i know i'm calling you on sukkot, and yes, i agree, i should be home celebrating with my family, going to temple and services, and taking a well-deserved break, but i'm sure you know how it is, we just have so much work to do and deadlines deadline deadlines, whoopee!!! but it's all for the children, right? i hope i'm not keeping you from leaving to go to your temple for the festivities! i mean, there are just so many special days to observe right now, and we shouldn't forget that god and everyone are constantly warming up our lives with joy, but without work, all we'd have left is temple! and family! and leftover challah sandwiches! but sheesh, keeping it all in balance is just so important for me. i mean, i've already taken three vacation days in the past week to observe, and i bet it's the same for you, too, right, becca hxxxxxxman*? i mean, right now i should be hanging fruit and finishing up the sukkah! how's yours coming along?
me: ...***
* she always calls me by my first and last names. thankfully she doesn't know my first name is officially rebecca nor anything about my middle name. if she asks, i'm becca tuttifruiti razzmatazz hxxxxxxman, in honor of the most ingenious jolly rancher flavor never to have been created. or at least mass produced.
** name changed to protect and confuse, just like bart police.
*** this is where i debated running and hiding in the publications closet, but i declined and stuck with the call. there's no wifi down there, and i'd miss my google reader way too much.
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