slackher

lately, i've felt slacker worthy. i'm fairly certain this cool san francisco spring weather has inadvertently encouraged me to accept my inner bear and hibernate. but i'm challenging myself to change it up over the summer.

1. clean the stove top twice a week. right now, i'm lucky if i make it to once a month. hand, meet mr. little scrubbie. and... clean that grime!

2. zumba my ass off. or at least try a zumba class. just one. i'm getting complacent with pilates, and i need a change. but one that doesn't involve krav maga or a steroidal, overly waxed, oranger-than-mama-lohan man in booty shorts blowing his whistle and yelling at me to "hut hut!" and then drop and give him twenty. because then my wallet will be fresh out of cash.

3. find a new genre of fiction. i admit that i'm getting somewhat addicted to paranormal romance/urban fantasy/anything with a strong female character who kicks the evil undergrowth of society to the curb, all while wearing pointy stilettos and keeping her coif perfectly up do-ed. perhaps i'll try historical westerns.

4. drink beer. i hate beer. or most beers. i've never liked bitter or hopsy flavors. but a few weeks ago, i found a delicious beer at a brewery out in the inner sunset. the only problem: it sits in a giant thingamagig with beets, fermenting and all that sh!t for months. and i'm allergic to beets. so for now, i challenge myself to find solomente una cerveza that i just might drink a pint of without getting the sour lemon pucker face.

5. figure out how to get victoria's secret hair. you know, that constantly windblown yet casual, come hither hair. the kind that you want to run your fingers through all day long, all while thinking, "yes, this is natural! look at how effortless i look!" that. i want that.

6. and while i'm at it, let's throw in one serious "want". i want all the crazies (i'm talking to you, fox news, in particular) to stop bitching about how abortion, gay marriage, and public education are ruining society. is it so hard to give a damn about other people's rights? i mean, c'mon. you care so much about arnold's mistress' three bedroom condo in the valley. and how smarmy that country boy is on american idol. and whether sjp really did get that wart removed or maybe how it just retired and moved itself to florida. how about putting that much effort into making the world a better place.