8.06.2005

Take a little trip, take a little trip, take a little trip and see

I admit it. I like mid-rise jeans, ones that come 2-3 fingers below my belly button. The low-rise hiphuggin jeans craze lasted me about one bus ride; I had these great Abercrombie (cringe) low-rise, boot cut jeans on, and I was walking around the city, having to pull them up every so often. They just kept slouching. I got on the bus and sat down, but to my dismay, I could feel my butt crack touch the seat. Ew! Who else's butt had touched there? Did this mean our butts had touched, too? And how many butts had my butt then touched? Hundreds? Thousands?

Low-rise jeans seam to only flatter the few. Those with stick-thin, curveless bodies and legs that seem to stretch for days. For those of us who have some curves, a hip or two, or a booty that is bigger than the size of my fist, we just can't pull off the low-rise trend. It makes our stomachs look too big, our torsos produce multiple waists, and movement becomes incredibly limited. Dropped your purse? Check all directions before you bend down; your g-string could become public news. Want to wear that cute, short tee? You might also be showing a lot more than a brush of skin; thus while it might be cute for a 12 year old, when you're older than teen, all that extra skin just looks like that: extra skin. Not attractive.

So why are low-rise jeans so popular? Do women everywhere want to feel like a kid again? Because if that's all it is, then I'd rather dress up like Sleeping Beauty and play "Princess for a Day." At least then I can justify my tiara, and no one will see my day-of-the-week underwear.

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