make new friends, but keep the old...

i didn't sleep well last night. perhaps it was the overwhelming combination of aleve, tylenol, and advil i took yesterday for the rainy knee pain along with the sudafed for the sinus headache. or it could have been partly because the cat sat on my nightstand pawing my nose every few hours. but i got up this morning, dressed myself (impressive, i know. it takes true skill.), and caught an earlier-than-normal bus to work.

on the ride in, somehow my mind started wandering (perhaps due to the woman singing hymns near the front of the bus), and i started thinking back to high school, old friends, and why and how and when we all drifted apart. maybe this is because lately a few childhood friends have come back into my life in different ways. and it's great. in some instances, we just drifted apart, heading in different directions with different people. but with others, there was that whole high school cattiness that crept into the friendship and dissolved it into millions of little pieces, which makes me second guess these newfound efforts of friendship. and while some invite me to start anew via joining their friendster list or send a note via myspace or emailing me with a general update, it doesn't make the uncertainty go away. like can we get past that i got boobs first, and while all the boys thought it was cool, i felt utterly embarrassed as my chest inflated at an ungainly rate? will they come over to my house (or apartment) and visit now that my dad isn't around to scare them away with his incoherant babble about who has donated more money? have they gotten over the fact that i chose going to college a year early over a potentially agonizing senior year stuck inside the pine crest bubble of wealth and privledge, and realize i didn't do it to "get away from them"? and am i just being added to a "friends" list to increase their stats or do they really want to renew old bonds?

so my lesson learned from this morning? MUNI (the bus system): it pumps your brain, but not your wallet.

1 comment:

James said...

Yeah, life is about friends lost along the way Matthias and I are always saying. We hope you and Todd stay in touch and COME TO VISIT US here in Amsterdam!!!!! You are welcome to stay with us any time. You can even use our apartment as a base while you trek off to other European cities. You can leave your large suitcase here and then just take a roller bag while you're visiting Prague or Vienna or where ever..