fortune 500

for christmas, todd and i always eat dinner at shangri-la, an all-vegetarian chinese restaurant out on irving street. it's also kosher, and last thursday we counted six yarmulkes before we even sat down. but that's a side note. at the end of dinner, we opened our fortune cookies. todd's was pretty straightforward:
if you continually give you will continually have.

he thought it was profound. i thought it was missing a comma. i opened my cookie to find multiple fortunes. first one:

a finanical investment will yeild returns beyond your hopes.

well, obviously this fortune was divinated way before fannie, freddie, the big 3, etc. and does a shoe box count as a financial investment? next up:

you have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly.

i have an usual affinity for proper grammar, and you, dear fortune, aren't using it properly. final fortune:

you and your wife will be happy in your life together.

i think i either got todd's (or some other fine gentleman's) cookie or this cookie supports gay marriage.

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